There are times in our lives where we really see ourselves coming to a crossroads, a time where we might feel inspired, rejuvenated, supported. I’ve really had a resurgence (or maybe not “re”, but a surge for the first time ever) recently in my ability to speak my mind. Some may call this tactless, or classless, or obtuse, but I call it being assertive, and it makes me proud. I’m not typically one to be proud of myself in either an egotistical manner, or truly in admiration of something awesome I did, but I am genuinely proud of this new assertiveness because I had a counselor several years back who implored me to understand why being assertive is important and I never quite got the hang of it. Granted, a bit of this new assertiveness might come at the expense of other people’s feelings, but I’ve learned some things recently that make me okay with that.
1. I can’t always be concerned with other people’s feelings. There is a lot of nastiness that bombards us in this world and we just need to learn to put our big panties on and deal with it. Not everything is personal. Not everything that hurts my feelings is aimed at me. God knows I’m a pro at hurting feelings, but hardly is it ever intentional. So, in order to be true to oneself, there are going to be some hurt feelings along the way.
2. Not everyone, at every moment, of every day is going to like what you have to say. Nor are they going to agree with you. But as long as you believe what you’re saying, and you really believe in it and aren’t just saying it because it’s what you think you should say, who cares? Again, you’re going to piss people off. It’s life. Let’s deal.
3. Telling people how you really feel can be damaging. But it can also be incredibly liberating. See, I have had some frustrations floating around my mind for a great deal of time now (picture the pixies floating around in Lockhart’s classroom in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – seriously, that’s what my thoughts look like) and I finally voiced them, and you know what? I didn’t die. And neither did the guy who pissed me off. So, sometimes it’s okay to just let the other guy have a piece of your mind. And speaking of that, you know why sometimes I have such a hard time with that? Because I’m a woman – and I’ve unconsciously felt like it’s not ladylike to speak my opinion, but, whatever…
4. Life is about finding what you care about, working toward that passion, and leaving the rest behind. I can’t walk around fearing that so and so is going to be mad if I’m honest. Isn’t honesty always the best policy? So how can you truly get mad at someone who is honest with you? Just a thought…
So, you might not always like what I have to say. You might not always agree with. I won’t always agree with you. I might not even like you (though honestly, I probably wouldn’t tell you that anyway…even with this newly-found liberation). But I will tell you a few things, and if you don’t like it? *Shrugs shoulders* I think sex before marriage is a really bad idea (and I speak from experience, so don’t call me some stupid Christian with her head buried in her ass), I can’t stand Obama – like, really can’t stand (though I know that’s SO unpopular these days given the fact that *gasp* someone doesn’t like the President – I must be racist), I say the F word – a lot (but seriously, only at home 🙂 ), I love to watch TV and one of my biggest fears of having children is not watching TV, I don’t like everyone – in fact, I probably use the phrase “I hate people” at least 20 times a week, I suffered from a deep dark depression a while back in my early 20s (and speaking of which, most people in their early 20s really don’t have shit figured out, so to pretend otherwise is humorous – though I fully admit that I’m still learning but hey, even when you’re 80, aren’t you still learning?), watching people I care about make bad decisions lends more compassion to the people who watched me make those same bad decisions (and they are bad decisions – so when you’re older sibling, parent, friend, etc. tells you it’s bad, please trust them! But you won’t, will you? Because you know better than everyone else), and I could go on and on and on about all the other things I want you to know, but seriously, what would be the point of this blog? And in general, what’s the point? You already know better than I do 🙂
Navigating the Wormhole 