Running – Really??

Ohhh, the things we do to surprise ourselves. I hate running. I mean, like, reallllyyyy despise it (I guess – I mean, I did). Apparently it took me 26 years despising the “sport” (can you even really call it a sport? Isn’t it just something you do to outrun, say, a lion?!) to realize that *sigh* I actually do kind of enjoy it. I always had these awful, myriad, preconceived notions perpetuated by beautiful girls with tiny waists, huge thighs, good attitudes, and 7-minute Presidential Physical Fitness test-times (oh yes, you remember those!). In school, I could barely, barely hoof a 12-minute mile. I haven’t tried since 7th grade, but honestly, it’s probably not much better now. The only thing that has changed is my attitude about it.

I’ve had a very rocky relationship with running this last year. I’m the kind of girl who gets bored ridiculously easily with routine – so while on my desperate journey to lose weight the year prior to my wedding, and bored with my current routine, I decided to try running. Actually, it just kind of fell into my lap, though I don’t even remember how. Somehow, I heard of the Couch to 5K program. I checked into it and thought “well, yeah, I can walk. And, yup, I can probably do some running a minute at a time. *Sigh* I guess I’ll try.” This, compounded with the fact that my plethora of running friends all seem happy, healthy, fit, firm, blah blah blah, encouraged me to try to take up this glorious activity. I started C25K, got to week 2 at least 5 times (ahem, repeated week 2 because well, it was easy). Then I quit…true to form. For like…months. Then, I took up another activity – also true to form. Then I got bored (see a cycle here?) And then, when I was feeling down and out I looked at Aaron and said “I liked running didn’t I?” He said, “yes, it seemed as if you did.” Then I said “why did I quit?” He shrugged his shoulders, to which I expounded in systematic form as to why I stopped:

Thought to Self: I’ve always hated running.

Response from Self: Then why do you do it?

Response to Self: Because everyone looks like they have fun doing it, so I thought “I like fun!” and so I tried it.

Response from Self: Was it fun?

Response to Self: NO! It was f-ing miserable, but I felt really strong after doing it.

Response from Self: So why did you quit?

Response to Self: Because I hate running.

Response from Self: Maybe you just have convinced yourself you hate running. Maybe you just need to give yourself permission to like it.

Response to Self: Shit.

I knew Self was right, of course. I had convinced myself my whole life, to such a great degree, that I hate running, that I actually talked myself out of doing something I actually enjoyed because I felt guilty enjoying something I told myself I hated.

I’ve hopped on and off the running bandwagon a few times since then, mostly through external distractions (Vampire Diaries addiction – eeek!), but ultimately I always return. Why? Because it’s miserably good fun and it makes me feel like a superhero. I still haven’t surpassed Week 3, but I have this handy dandy little app on my phone that tells me when to walk, when to run, and when to stop so that I don’t get caught up looking at the treadmill display because I swear to myself that I am quite literally dying. I also purchased some beautiful, wonderful new running shoes. The ones I had been wearing cannot even be constituted as “running” shoes. I cannot express enough how important it is to get properly fitted shoes – endurance has increased, and pain has declined. I seriously don’t know why I didn’t consider this sooner. I even got some nifty running shorts – the kind I see the skinny bitches I used to hate running in – and um, I shamefully hate to admit that they’re super comfy and super effective.

So, today, my running journey commences again. I’ll be starting on Week 1, mostly because it’s been a month since our wedding and I’ve been super lazy since then after all the hard work I put in, and my poor heart doesn’t feel like it can take a more advanced run (as if week 3 is really that much more advanced). And I tell myself, it’s only 9 weeks, surely I can stick with it. And my motivation? I really want to run The Color Run – mostly because I want weird strangers tossing paint at me, or whatever it is, because it looks cool.

And my major driving force? I saw a girl at the park – she had massive, huge, runners thighs. I want those thighs. Yes, I want huge thighs.